I once read a story about a little boy who was slow to potty train. One Sunday before leaving church, the little boy didn’t make it to the restroom, wetting his clothes and forming a puddle between his feet. His daddy, seeing that the little boy was embarrassed, quickly cleaned up the puddle and whisked away his son in his arms. The daddy wasn’t concerned that his own clothes got wet while carrying his son. His only concern was saving his son from feeling shame.
I’ve always thought the way to rid myself from a lifetime of shame was to yell my story from the rooftops. If I could just tell enough people, if I could just see that the story of my mistakes helped someone else, if I could just know that God was transforming my mess into a message, surely, surely, the shame would go away.
My husband is a very private person, and I used to think he was embarrassed by my story . . . by me . . . because he didn’t feel the need to rehash my mistakes. Having recently been the one to watch someone else’s mistakes and poor choices unfold, I’ve learned that my husband knew far better than I what “Love covers a multitude of sins” means.
I’ve learned that when you truly love someone, you help them bear their burdens. Sometimes, that means covering their mistakes so they aren’t publicly embarrassed. Love means you never want the other person to feel shame. Love reminds the guilty party of their worth and value in their darkest hours. Love quietly helps clean up a mess and keep a reputation honorable.
Love doesn’t drag the guilty party out of bed and drag her through the streets, publicly shaming her, calling for her punishment. Love doesn’t require another to wear a scarlet letter. Love doesn’t continuously remind people of their mistakes. Love doesn’t create an atmosphere of fear in an attempt to make a person behave.
Love covers a multitude of sins, and in doing so, diminishes shame.
Love looks the guilty party in the eyes and says, “I know your heart, and it is good. I know who you are even if you’ve temporarily forgotten. I still believe in you.”
