Yesterday, writer Elizabeth Esther shared on social media how she’s recovering from spending years struggling with her weight due to the fat-shaming family in which she grew up. She told of a particularly nasty comment her fundamentalist grandfather had made to her. Her story was familiar and left me thinking about my own struggles with body image.

I spent much of my life in a culture in which men had a lot to say about female bodies. I heard men call women I loved fat and lard-ass. I sat under preachers who had no qualms about telling women how much makeup they should wear, what clothes to wear, how long their hair should be, and even how long their shirt sleeves should be. I’ve had my stomach pinched by a man as he exclaimed, Not too much to pinch there, then watched as he turned to pinch other women’s waists. No wonder I’ve been obsessed with my weight and how I look for the past twenty-plus years.