When I was in my early twenties (pre-kids) I went to a second-round job interview at a large company. I sat in the prospective boss’s office, facing him where a window overlooking the city of Birmingham was just beyond his chair. He leaned back in his leather and asked me, What do you want in life?
It wasn’t a question I was prepared to answer in an interview, but I was quick to respond. I wanted a house, a picket fence, children, a dog, vacations, and money to spare. He replied, You want the American dream. Yes, I most definitely wanted the American dream.
My family never had much money while I was growing up. Pastors of small churches don’t make much money. I didn’t have Guess jeans and K-Swiss shoes. Somehow, by the time I was in my late teens and early twenties, I had come to believe achieving the American dream would make me happy.
Currently, I live that American dream. I have the husband, the house, the children, the dogs (and a cat), and a fence (although, it’s shadowbox instead of picket), along with enough money to be comfortable.
I watched President Trump’s speech at the National Prayer Breakfast last week and could agree with him on one point. He talked about knowing “tremendous numbers of people with great material success—the most material success.” He said, “Many of those people are very, very miserable, unhappy people.”
You can get what you thought you always wanted and discover it’s not what will make you happy.
The American dream—the one that includes comfort zones and the kind of safety that doesn’t make us face other people’s sorrows—doesn’t make me happy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ungrateful; but, something is missing.
I’ve discovered that I’m happiest when I step out of my comfort zone and look for ways to help others. I’m most at peace when I’m following my heart instead of following the crowd. I’m realizing that the more we have, the more we are weighed down with burdens and responsibilities we were never meant to carry.
