It once gave me relief, a sense of satisfaction, a hefty pat of approval on my back. Now I feel my shoulders stiffen, the knot grow tight in my stomach, the fear begin to escalate in my mind, and the dread rush over me at even the thought of it.

I once enjoyed it…until I became a slave to it.

Funny thing, I never saw the change coming. I never once dreamed I’d ever be at a point where I’d want to give it up where I’d need to give it up…in order to find real freedom.

But here I am…ready to run in the opposite direction. And I’m okay with that.

It’s going to sound ridiculous to some of you; and blasphemous to others of you. Some of you will say, Who cares?, while others of you will say, Be careful. So…if you have an opinion, I politely say to you: I don’t want to know it.

I’ve been I am addicted to Bible studies/books on how to live the Christian life. Ridiculous, right? I know. But it’s true.

Right now, I can’t take another Bible teacher’s or minister’s opinion, revelation, or interpretation of the Bible and the Christian life. I’m choosing to give them up for about three months, then re-evaluate.

I’ll ask God to reveal what only He can reveal to me through His written word and Holy Spirit.

I’m going to take some time to expand my creative palette. I need to find God outside of the protective shell I keep myself hidden in. I need to see Him in the art that my Christian culture would toss aside because it’s not church-y enough. I need to know that God is bigger and more mysterious and more personal and…well, MORE than any author or teacher can describe.

In a nutshell, I need to experience the freedom God intended His children to experience. I’m excited and can’t wait to see what’s in store!