We’re in what I call limbo season in Alabama. It’s that time when Spring is upon us, and the weather is a little {or a lot} bi-polar. I pulled out the shorts and flip-flops for last week’s warm days, but it’ll be jeans and a sweater today. By the end of the week, I’ll have the flip-flops on again. This is the season when Alabamians are constantly checking the weather forecast because even though the predicted high is around 50 degrees today, it could be 70 tomorrow.
My life feels a lot like Alabama weather right now: day-to-day, drastic changes. I wake up every day wondering what uncontrollable circumstances will take place that day.
I remember the day I found out I likely wouldn’t graduate high school with my classmates…the friends I’d grown to love. We’d be moving yet again. At the time, we didn’t know where we’d be moving…just that we wouldn’t be staying. I had to go through the process of detaching from friends and life as I knew it without knowing what the future held. Limbo. I drove to a nearby neighborhood and ran around the lake until I could hardly breathe, silently screaming at God. I couldn’t understand why we had to move again…why I’d have to leave my friends…why He was always giving, then taking away.
Twenty-one years later, I’m still pondering the same thoughts. What’s with the giving and taking away? Why the constant limbo?
The only control I have is my response. Even that’s a battle. It’s difficult to remain positive in the midst of negative circumstances. I was never good at algebra, and in my mind, two negatives do not make a positive. And the subtractions just keep coming: losing a friend here, part of a dream there, a little less hope today than yesterday.
I’m losing patience with this ridiculously-long season…this constant state of flux…this one step forward, two steps back…this giving and taking away.
I’m ready to put away the winter clothes. I’m ready for sunny, 90-degree days. I’m ready for flip-flops and suntans and pool days. I’m ready for refreshing rest and relaxation.
I’m ready for limbo season to be over…at least long enough to make some forward progress. I’m ready to experience some sustainable positives.
