Honesty About Sometimes

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: many Christians don’t like honesty. We like to pretend, and we like for others to pretend. We’re good at happy faces and I’m fine responses. We pretend that a curse word never pops in our heads, and that we always have a good attitude.

Today my eight year old read this sentence in her spelling book: God knows our every thought. She looked at me and asked if He knows the bad words that she sometimes thinks. Yep. She asked if I ever thought bad words. Yep. I explained that we should ask God to forgive us for those bad words, and that we should think on things that are lovely, pure, noble, of good report, etc. so that we don’t dwell on bad words. However, sometimes bad words just pop in our heads, and heavens-to-betsy, out of our mouths. And God knows it. Guess what?….He still loves us.

Then tonight a friend at church made a comment and followed it with, I’m just being honest. Being the sarcastic person I am, I said: Better not do that. We don’t like honesty.

It’s true.

We don’t want people to know the ungodly things about our lives. And we want to pretend that no one else in church has ungodly behaviors either. I’m here to burst the bubble. We all, every single one of us, sin.

As much as I want to be holy and godly, and portray that to others, sometimes I’m just not. Don’t get all upset and think I’m making excuses for sin. I’m just saying that it’s a fact that we all sin. I want to be that stay-at-home, homeschooling mom who is always content. I want to read my Bible and spend time with Jesus every morning. I want to glorify God. I want to be kind and show love to every person I come in contact with. I want to be a good wife.

But…the truth is…

I don’t always do it. And while it’s not okay to live a lifestyle of sin, I’m not going to lie and say I don’t ever. Truth is, sometimes I yell at my kids. Sometimes bad words pop out of my mouth. Sometimes I’m jealous. Sometimes I’m selfish. Sometimes I’d rather listen to Guns N Roses and Poison than to Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin. Sometimes I just want to do what I know I shouldn’t. Sometimes…

Before 2006, I never would’ve been honest about my sometimes. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that honesty brings hope and healing to myself and others. You may be offended by my sometimes, and that’s okay with me. I know the One who can handle my honesty and loves me anyway.

Are you honest with yourself? Are you honest with your Christian friends?