I’m on vacation, and I’ve been contemplating writing this post. In fact, I’ve been contemplating whether I’d do the whole One Word thing again this year.
Last year, my One Word was healthy. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a success in that department, but the thought remained with me throughout the year, while my yearly resolutions usually die within a few weeks.
Yesterday, my husband, kids and I went on a five-mile hike in the Smoky Mountains. My husband mentioned more than once that I was quiet, and he was correct. I had a lot on my mind…about the directions of this blog and my music. I thought about the changes that have taken place in both over the past year, and I thought about what should happen in the upcoming year.
I walked away from the hike not having a clue what direction 2013 holds for A New Song To Sing. I’ve tossed around the idea of not blogging quite as often, at least until a direction is clear. I’ve given thought to writing an in-depth series about Joseph (his coat) and his family relations. I’ve considered abandoning blogging and focusing strictly on music. A different style of music than I’m used to.
I’m at a loss.
And because of that, I sense an unsettling, which leads me to the word that seems to be choosing me for 2013: change.
I don’t necessarily like change, and will rarely choose it on my own, which makes my One Word for 2013 all the more difficult to accept. It seems change is upon me, and if I choose to avoid it, it seems I’ll be choosing defeat.
I make no guarantees as to what this blog or my music will be like in the coming year. I admit to feeling as if I’m drifting, and I’m itching to exercise some creativity, but have felt that the direction I want to go would be wrong.
As we hiked yesterday, I talked with God {rather, I talked to Him, venting frustration}: What do you want from me? You created me with all these passions, yet everything feels wrong. Do you want me to give up and die…to just quit living???!! His quiet response to my soul: Yes, that’s exactly what I want. Quit trying. Let me live through you. I admit that much of the conversation was centered around a book I just finished, Grace Walk by Steve McVey. But I have no doubt that I read it in God’s perfect time…a time in which His change in me and through me seems inevitable.
Yes, the winds of change seem to be headed my way. I can choose to stand firm against them, or let them dance me away. The latter sounds more interesting!
