I’d like to write a feel-good article about how losing is really winning. I’d like to talk about how the last are really first. I’d like to say that life is like that sports program where the score isn’t kept, and we all get a trophy in the end.
But we all know better than that.
We live in a world where you can work your ass off, do the right thing, give until it hurts, and turn the other cheek (repeatedly), and still lose.
Employers will still fire people; marriages will still fall apart; friends will still abandon one another; dreams will still crash and burn; and family members will still reject and neglect each other.
Maybe you have your own scenario. You’ve given 100 percent only to find yourself dead last.
I’m right there with you. I wish I had answers. Patronizing phrases come to mind:
Tie a knot at the end of your rope, and hang on.
Hit your knees in prayer.
Get up and try again.
Your lucky break is just around the corner.
The truth is sometimes we’re just at the end of ourselves, and are drained of every drop of energy. Yet we feel like we have to get up and get back in the rat race. But it’s okay remain flat on our faces for as long as we need. I think we just need permission to do so.
There’s a world full of hurting people. I don’t understand the pressure to pretend we’re fine when we’re not. So let’s take our time. Grieve our losses. Cry over how much it hurts.
When we’re ready to face the harsh world of survival of the fittest again, we will.
Until then, let’s give ourselves and each other permission and time to ache over losing.
I’m right there w/ you Rebekah in so many ways. Thanks for not trivializing real pain and loss.
Lynn
I’m sorry you’re going through it too.
I guess I’m realizing we can only numb it for so long. At some point, we have to embrace it and deal with it. Easier said than done, though.
My, what a story I could write about loss… years of loss, after working my ass off, doing the right thing, and giving until it hurt. Initially, I felt like I had to “get up and get back in the rat race” because, well, doing anything else would show weakness. Right? Or at least that’s what I’ve always been taught. And I tried to do that… I tried pretending I was ok. I tried accepting that everything happening was just life, it was happening for a reason, and surely God had everything in control. I tried to appear strong. But I couldn’t. And I finally realized that sometimes you just have to remain flat on your face for a while and grieve. And cry. And grieve some more. I’m still not over all the losses I’ve suffered. I’m still grieving. I’m still crying. I’m still aching. For how much longer? I have no idea. Thanks for the reminder that it’s ok to take time and allow myself to grieve. And it’s ok that I’m not “fine” yet and not ready to get up off my face. I will be ready… one day. But not today.
I’m crying with you and for you. I’m down here with you. When you’re ready, I’ll grab the tissues and we’ll dry your face. Love you.
Oh, sweet friend, I love you too! Thank you for crying with and for me and walking with me through my grief, hurt and despair. You are a blessing!
You captured my heart, Angie.
In this Joel Osteen, motivational speaker, don’t worry be happy word, not enough people are saying what you say here – it’s okay to be grieving. It’s okay to hurt. And we don’t have to cover it with smiles and meaningless phrases.
Thank you