The email came last week: Have you thought about giving your testimony in choir…? Need somebody for next week, March 30th. Pray about it…
Gulp. Instant stomach ache. My thoughts: WHAT?! Me??? Um, no. I haven’t publicly shared my testimony in over five years…before…
A few days later, after prayer and confirmation, I replied: I’ll do it…
God has been preparing me for this. I knew several weeks ago that He’d told me it was time. But really, God? I’m to share my story with the people I sing with every week? I’d much rather share it with people I don’t know…with people I don’t have to see twice a week. Nevertheless, I will stand before a group of people (some I know well, some I barely know) tomorrow night, and I will share my story in five minutes or less.
I’ve written it out. I’m prepared to share; but in the back of my mind, I know I can leave out the part that terrifies me to share. I know that omission is my safety net. But I also know that my story would not be complete without that part. I know that I can’t fully tell of God’s work in me unless I tell that part.
I know I have to share, and to do so will be my total reliance upon Him. I know there’s a reason…someone in that room needs to hear it. He’s going to use me to let that person know that they’re not alone…that God can heal them…that the guilt can be removed…that His grace covers them. I know all this because He continues to use my story in unexpected ways. I received a message just last week from someone who needed to hear how God created beauty from my ashes. I know that the testimony of His grace will not go unheard. Grace has called my name, and He will call someone else’s name too…
I believe you will do well. You will be honest, you might cry, you will be vulnerable and open and that is the reason God wants your story. It is your story, a story of healing and hope. A story of broken~ness and hope. A story of a God who heals… the heart that was hurt. I will be praying… Love the song too perhaps your book could be called Grace has called my name.
Rebekah – I read this late last night and didn't have the chance to comment, but I was in tears in the thirty seconds or so it took me to read it. We both wish we could be there tonight to cheer you on. Know that we will be praying earnestly for you today. Someone there will be so incredibly thankful that you shared. Just like I was.